econs and drawing site concept ui22.oct.25 
Dear Diary,
I was really in the zone ok and it's my last subjective paper for igcses I want to finish strong...so it's 4.00am rn and I'm taking a short break until 4.07am befoe resuming my econs studies and I actually feel more confident now, I took a shower too (2-3am)...Idk man.
START Log -
12.20pm. My body feels like it’s breaking down. I finished my exam about an hour ago. I feel like I did really good. I’m proud of myself. I I feel so so so so so
I want to die. I’m in the car. I wanna play piano but I don’t want anyone to hear it I wish there was a way for me to just be alone forever they don’t respect the music as art and they don’t understand the message it conveys. Them listening at all hurts. I wanna write my book. I wanna buy polymer clay and uv resin and do some clay art. I wanna finish that puzzle I bought. I want to play with arduino and build sim cool stuff and start designing some easy things. I wanna watch cool lectures and do uni coursework and laugh about how unserious and fun they are. I wanna play football in my room and run another 10km on my treadmill. I wanna record more song covers and sing while boxing. I wanna read books about math and the universe and the history of science and work on imo problems. I want. I want. I want. But I can’t. Because I’m stuck. I'm not even stuck. I just don’t even know where I am.
I have no idea what time I did what bit I got home and I felt pretty restless so I couldn’t really sleep I think I also cried at some point but idek about what and I made pixel art on my ipad n wanted to do some graphic designing idk but then I fell asleep in my chair and woke up lying on my table and it was 5pm n I didn’t know if it was the next day or not it felt like I slept for a long time n I don’t think I even entered REM.
START Log - 11.18 p.m.
I feel pretty good rn actually, it’s 11.18pm. I’m kinda tired so I’ll sleep soon but I drew these as a site concept:
Oh yeah and just to update on what happened during the test, everyone kept leaving early (Joshua, who sat next to me was the 1st to leave). I was kind of baffled because WDYM you're leaving early for a writing-heavy board exam and not even stayng for the fully alloted time even if you're done already??? But anyway, most people from the afterschool class stayed fully (YW, CG), private candidates and also Angela. Oh and also that other person I won't mention because mentioning or thinking about this person at all concretely is horrifying to me.
Anyway, everyone was saying how the paper was weird afterwards. I engageda bit in their discussion. Then I got bored and left. I saw Joshua downstairs and I asked, "How did you finish so fast??" and he said, "Idk, I just write fast." And I saw Daniel and I asked, "Did yu take the test?" (Cuz he wasn't in uniform) and that's when I learnt that he dropped econs. Then I got bored of them and left.