Right now it’s 12.50pm and I have to be in school by 1pm for some weird grad performance rehearsal and it’s compulsory but I still need to shower and honestly it’s my fault I’m at this point I was procrastinating on showering which doesn’t help the fact that I shower 1-2hours and I just. My igcse exam is at 4pm so I’m just. Everything just kind of hurts. I don’t want to move from this chair at all but I’m moving my fingers to type so I obviously can move and am just making excuses right. I don’t understand why I’m just not standing.
I SHOWERED!! It’s 1.45pm tho… I need to make it for the rehearsal though…
So I didn't make it for the rehearsal, but I finished econ mcq igcse. It was quite good. I'm kind of happy about it cuz even though there were a few questions I didn't know, I checked their answers after the exam and I got them right, so essentially I have full marks for this mcq paper :) Apparently missing these "rehearsals" will be "reflected in out testimonials" but honestly, it's going to be less than a month until graduation, so that's just ridiculous. The performance itself is ridiculous, the song choice is bad, people are unmotivated, everything about this performance SUCKS.
I also wrote a SpaceHey bulletin. It's more of a life update, honestly. A summary of that one week break. Here:
Polymer clay art
I've wanted to tinker with this for soo long and I especially want to incorporate electronics into some crafts, but haven't gotten round to doing that yet. I made these little charm things that I'll probably make into a bracelet:
charms
And I also made this figurine! Its head is magnetic so I was thinking of making a magnetic tiara to go with it,, I admit it does look a bit ugly lmao but it's my first time at it so hopefully I'll get better w time...
polymer clay figurine frontpolymer clay figurine backGamedev with Unity
Okay so I haven't ACTUALLY gotten round to doing this yet, mainly because I downloaded Unity on my laptop with a 220GB SSD...and it kind of. broke. lol. SO I got a NEW laptop with better specs!! I've literally never owned such a lightweight and capable laptop before, so I'll probably install Unity and VSCode and bla and bla once I get over my fear of that rapidly decreasing storage...
Anyway, I DID manage to learn the basic GUI of Unity and how to change a few settings with the time I had with it on my old laptop. I've been watching this video. I also learnt the basics of a new coding language (C#) so I can use it with Unity! Yay! I've been mainly coding frontend and also in python so this was def a learning curve.
Writing (books)
I've been writing two (if you don't count the other 2-3 novel ideas lol) books since last year, and I recently (JUST NOW) changed the ENTIRE plot of my first book to more of a psych thriller than a murder mystery because that thread just felt so disjointed and forced, and now my plot sounds so whimsical I'm so excited to write it lol. I have this very specific image in my head but here's just general (new) idea I typed earlier in about 2 mins:
Eha gradually starts to live more in her dreams rather than reality and the line between the two blurs…She realises her dreams aren’t just dreams, they’re a story where she’s the protagonist. Every morning after she wakes up, she realises these “dreams with continuity” actually contain hidden details on how to navigate waking life and solve the mystery of ___, all while living the seemingly perfect life where she’s no longer the heir to a multi-millionaire entertainment agency and is instead the regular daughter of two loving parents with a normal older sister (kind of like Coraline, but there’s no twist in this other world).
A-Levels
I've ALSO been getting a headstart on A-Levels* (yes I am AWARE I haven't even finished IGCSEs yet) by properly picking the courses I'll be taking, applying to colleges and for scholarships etc. all that boring logistical stuff. Recently I've been watching further math lectures (because of how many ppl say it's the hardest subject...I feel like if I just dive into what's hardest, everything else will become easy. Bonus if I finish the whole syllabus before I'm supposed to start 😊).
Next to-dos:
Install Unity on new laptop
Learn blender for 3D modelling maybe?
Continue tinkering with MIT app inventor :p
Make a polymer clay project with electronics!! (gotta figure out how to bake this...)
Paint polymer clay figurine (done on 5.nov.2025)
I've also had these moments lately where a mental image comes up and I just get this visceral physical reaction that kind of counters the thought by clawing at my skin. It feels like a reflex? Like that shaking my head reflex to get rid of a thought that keeps repeating. Sometimes the image isn’t a memory, sometimes it is, sometimes it’s neutral, sometimes it’s very specific and something that happened. And also today for example after I came home from my exam that I was about to kind of shut down and I thought, “look, I can predict it. I can see it, so it’s not real, and if it happens, it means I’m choosing it, so I’ll pretend it’s not there. I’m going to do xyz then xyz then xyz” and then by the end of it it’s almost as if by continually without pause filling the void the nothing state can never exist so if ever it happens it would be my choice and my fault. Maybe that's why I've kept busy for so long lately.
