A Guide to Working with Kids07.oct.25

Dear Audience,

Never volunteered for an after school program before, so I don’t know the specifics of that, but I’ve worked with kids aged 6-12 in tutoring academically, musically n also just working w them generally. So sorry for the sheer length of this I’m just passionate abt this topic lol I love kids:

From my experience you got to get creative with kids and usually what I first look for is their age (cuz kids tend to have rapid development as individuals and hence more likely to have rapid developmental gaps person to person based on their personal environment).

Also I find that kids lately have really low attention spans (not surprising…but keep in mind this is not everyone ofc, mostly only those endowed with personal devices (phones especially, iPads are a little more controlled). So I find that adapting to where they’re at is the best approach; if they get distracted and go on their phones, you ask them “what are you looking at? Can I see?” (Show genuine interest basically), or if they’re not engaging, mirror their behaviour and go on YOUR devices but then model “boredom” (some acting coming in handy here lol), like “dude, there’s nothing to do on my phone! I want to do [whatever activity that kid is supposed to be doing], come on…” (If it’s a kid who likes to whine, I tend to act a bit whiney here to act like they will be doing ME. A favour by doing what they’re supposed to do, and if they’re a normal kid with SOME empathy they tend to do it).

But keep in mind this is more effective for small groups/one-on-one. For larger groups (the most I’ve worked with personally is about 30+ students) you’ll need to be a littlee more strategic about it in finding out their common motivations for behaviours you want to minimize/maximize. For example, if everyone is walking around and are being LOUD and making other kids cry (this is a separate thing though lol…), you kind of analyse why they do it. For example do they have unmet needs and just want an authority figure to notice them? Or are they mimicking behaviour they’ve seen from elsewhere that they deem to be “cool” when they’re really just being mean? (Solution: Model good behaviour, spread out and give equal attention. Those who seek more attention tend to milk it when they see disruptive behaviour gets more of it, so don’t give them that because then they’ll learn disruptive = noticed.)

And now my favourite part and tying back to the creativity point—games. Not necessarily pre-made games (though sometimes this gets them engaged if one-on-one), but games you create (this is more fun anyway). Depending on your goal, you adapt the game. Include reward-punishment systems. Personally for example if I were teaching a kid piano but they hate the left hand but love the right hand part, I invented this. System? Where I’ll play the left (which they dislike) and they play the right (which they like), but if they get a note wrong, we switch places. But if I get a note wrong, they get a free pass. This reduces the power imbalance between older/younger dynamics between you and the kid.

Do not fear the iPad kids. Fear what the iPads do to them. If it’s just children’s media usually it’s fine, but if they have phones or social media (TikTok especially) installed on their devices they WILL learn cuss words and brain rot and slang that you might not know sometimes. While this is more prevalent in older kids (10-12), I noticed it’s starting up in younger groups too (I had a 6 year old repeatedly cuss me out for asking them to do their homework and not the light “stupid/damn/etc.” but the actual “f*/b*/mf”; shocked me the first time but it’s CRUCIAL that you don’t appear shocked, they will milk your reaction.). If this happens remain as non-reactive and neutral as possible, maybe even act curious, like, “What does that mean?” Or “Does that mean I’m [insert some good trait here]?” Sometimes they really don’t know what they mean and are just mimicking behaviour they’ve seen from elsewhere, to which you GENTLY educate them on what they entail. A lot of the time they do know what those words mean though, and depending on the kid I will either offer a reflection (“Can I say that back to you?” And if they say yes I use the exact phrasing that they used on me. Most of the time they will be hurt but shrug it off to keep pride. If they say no I’ll ask them why and they tend to admit that it’s wrong).

Or I’ll start using more sophisticated vocabulary so they stop feeling like the “more knowledgable” one for knowing the “big kid words” and also this introduces them to premature advanced language learning anyway.

Oh and for the game part again, for larger groups I remember there was one time I needed everyone to settle but they were just too restless (kids being kids) so I played the “quiet game” with them (top 3 quietest ones get candy, bonus 1 candy if they sit straight, and keep a serious expression aka like a try not to laugh thing, cuz I will actively try to make them laugh or say something back to me to make it more fun and also ironically makes them happier because in trying not to laugh they tend to laugh more). Ofc I had my limitations with this game especially since it involves an unhealthy treat so this can’t be used too often, maybe make it periodic like every [random weekday].

ALSO another CRUCIAL POINT—keep it age-appropriate but do not treat them like little kids by raising your pitch by a ridiculous amount or by babying them—this teaches not only dependency but also reinforces the idea that they are not capable themselves, which is not only condescending but very harmful for their developing self-concepts and self-esteem.